Why It’s Important to Blame Someone for Everything
It’s amazing how often we blame others for the lives we have.
We blame them for what we do, how we act and the way we turned out.
We blame and give credit to these people for who we are TODAY.
For the pain they caused, the awful things they did and the ways they made our lives worse.
I’ve blamed A LOT of people in my life.
Maybe you have too.
I blamed people for the awful things they did to me,
For how I showed up around them,
For who they were as human beings.
I blamed them for how they AFFECTED ME and turned my life in a NEGATIVE direction,
For TEARING ME APART and bringing me grief and sadness,
For all their faults making my life worse than it could’ve been.
I finally realized that if I was going to spend time and energy blaming people for all the negative impacts they had on me, I also needed to blame them for the positive ones.
So now I blame people for EVERYTHING they did to me.
Including all the times they hurt me,
For not trying to understand me,
For loving me in such destructive ways.
I blame them for toying with my emotions,
For shaming and guilting me,
For sucking me dry.
I blame them for using me for their own gain,
For exposing all my vulnerabilities and taking advantage of them,
For abusing me.
I blame them for pouring salt in my wounds,
For shouting at me,
For guilting and shaming me.
I blame them for being so weak that they needed me for strength,
For moulding my mind without my permission,
For believing the pain they caused was somehow good for me.
I ALSO blame them for teaching me what NOT to do.
I blame them for making me STRONGER,
For creating PERSEVERANCE in me,
For making me more EMPATHETIC.
I blame them for teaching me how much I cared for people,
For causing me to dig deep within myself so that I could learn how to heal,
For a motivation to study so that I could teach children how to overcome and love themselves.
I blame them for my decision to recommit to people I had taken for granted,
For the friendships I’ve deepened because I needed to talk to someone about the pain,
For the wise counsel I sought out because I was struggling with the way they treated me.
I blame them for the APPRECIATION for what I have in my life,
For understanding how awful life can be so that I treasure the joy so much more,
For the lessons I learned.
I blame them for my new confidence,
For all the wisdom I’ve gained,
For my inner strength.
I blame them for teaching me that I am already perfect despite what they said,
For believing that I am ENOUGH as I am,
For showing me what love should NOT feel like,
For opening my eyes to what I will NEVER settle for in the future.
I learned that I get to blame people for EVERYTHING.
For all of it — the good, the bad, the beauty and the ashes.
When we blame people for the negative they brought into our lives,
we get to blame them for the positive they brought into our lives as well.
That doesn’t mean they are absolved for what they did.
That it was right.
Or inherently good.
That they were healthy or pure in their motives.
It doesn’t mean we commit to staying in relationship with them so we can ‘learn more’.
Or that we think we deserved to be treated that way.
That we attracted the abuse.
That it was worth it.
It simply means that what they did to us, who they were to us and how they treated us contributed to EVERY ASPECT of who we are today.
We don’t need to thank them or give them credit, however we do get to blame them for everything.
We get to see them through that lens because it allows for peace IN US.
For forgiveness IN US.
This is about US now — our quality of life…our forward movement.
Not for them, or to help them, or because they earned it.
This isn’t about them anymore.
They don’t deserve any more pieces of us.
Of our heart, our soul, our mind.
We know we deserve better because we have seen the worst,
and survived it.
And learned how to thrive.
We see the positive and negative because peace, forgiveness and closure do something FOR US –
they SET US FREE.
And we deserve that joy.
We’ve earned it.