Is it “TRUE Love” or “FISH Love”?

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There is a difference between “Selfish Love” and “True Love”.

Selfish Love, as you may guess, is when we love someone because of what we get from them.

True Love is a love of giving, not of receiving.

We may Love someone because they make us feel a certain way physically, emotionally or spiritually.

We love the way they make us FEEL.

We feel filled up, complimented, more complete and opened up in new and exciting ways.

We don’t truly love THEM, we love the response our body, mind and soul has when we’re around them.

We want them in our lives because we end up feeling better.

There is an interesting term called “Fish Love”.

It was coined by Rabbi Abraham Twerski and he tells this story:

“‘Young man. Why are you eating that fish?’

The young man says, ‘Because I love fish.’

He says, ‘Oh. You love the fish. That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it. Don’t tell me you love the fish. You love yourself, and because the fish tastes good to you, you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.’

Is Fish Love REALLY the love we want to give to others?

That is often what we DO give.

People “fall in love” — what does that really mean?

That means that each person saw in the other the physical, emotional, mental and sexual needs that could be provided. Each one was looking out for their own interests. It is not love for the other. Each person becomes a way for the other to gain gratification.

So how can we experience True Love?


“People make a serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love, and the real answer is you love those to whom you give.” — Ethicist Rabbi Dessler

When we GIVE to someone else, we invest in THEM.

We all love ourselves to some extent (some more than others) and we extend that love we have inside to others by giving to them that with which we have.

“True Love” is a love of giving, not a love of receiving.

So when you think you really, truly love someone, do a self-check and see how much of YOURSELF you’re giving to THEM.

GIVE MORE and experience “True Love” in an amazing way.

TAKE and you are simply in “Fish Love”.

At least now we all know the difference.

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